Moral Dilemma

Im in a dilemma, confused & contradicted. I dun noe if i shdnt do, or i cannot dun do.

Last nite was my shift 2 look after grandpa @ his house, 4th Uncle pleaded for assistance in sharing e burden, coz he told mi tat he practically cant sleep everi nite, for a couple of weeks liao. He told mi wat 2 expect, & i went there well equipped; enuff 2 tide mi thru e long nite.I was prepared not 2 sleep.

Arrived @ 2120 hrs, grandpa was ready for bed, when he said he wanted 2 pass motion, mi & 4th Uncle helped.He had constipation, so special aid was required, save e details, mission accomplished 1 hr later. I stayed ard in e living room watchfully, staying vigilant juz in case he "rings" for mi anytime.

2330 hrs, 1st call, he needs 2 urine. E procedure for him 2 urine will be 2 1st wind up his Osim chair, which he uses as his bed,help him stand up, then unlock e stopper 2 his urinating aid. 1st call, my reaction 9 pts. After helping him back 2 his sleep, i went back 2 my drama which i brought from home. 0015 hrs, 2nd call. 0050 hrs, 3rd call. In short, i attended 2 him every 45 mins or so, till 6am.

Now ive truly experienced wat 4th Uncle went thru every nite, for weeks, i realie sympathize with him, & above all, respect & appreciate him. How can anyone have disrupted sleeps thru out e nite, yet rush for work in e dae? Though im currently a loafer, i cant even tahan last nite, went sleepy @ 5am, & now still feeling dizzy & lerthagic. I mean even though he is my grandpa, or my Uncles' father, we cant possibly tend 2 him 24hrs in every aspects, be there every moment, not being able 2 do wat we ought 2 do for ourselves.

This is my dilemma; in this case, we cant escape from e fact tat he needs us, a great deal, but im only 23, a young & active man who luvs 2 play, plans for himself & definitely oso 2 enjoy life. But shd i forfeit, or sacrifice my precious freedom & youth & spend more on my grandpa, though my mum, grand, 2nd & 4th uncles are shouldering tis responsibility liao. Should i, or more appropriately; can i not?

As much as any ppl my age who luv & i think most prob will say"i want freedom", my principles & mum continuously remind my tat hes my grandpa.Mum is truly a remarkable woman/mother/daughter-in-law/human. She will be e 2nd last person i wanna lose in my life.

E real problem is not now, but in April when grandpa is going back 2 Hainan Island, his homeland. Given his conditions now, he will have a hard time taking e plane, e bus or any transport. We cant possibly allow him 2 urine as & when he requires on transports or in public.I realie dun noe wat could help them. Mum asked mi 2 tag along, but i gave her a no answer.

E reason i gave was tat i need 2 go for tests & interviews for NIE in April. But deep down i knew e real answer: i dun wanna be tere 2 serve as a tool, servicing 24 hrs a day, for 2 weeks. I cant possibly live my life for another person, not even for young sis.

Scold mi if u think im wrong. But i stil luv my grandpa.