Vexed, troubled, tired mentally

I was ultimately troubled these weeks over grandpa's health & his 'decisions'. To date, i have had 7 shifts so far, & 1 shift is enuff 2 kill mi frankly. His demands are so meticulous & he expects someone 2 be around him 24hrs a day, which is something tat is beyond my abilities. Im realie very tired now.

Initially he was 2 have reached China, Hainan Island by 2dae, but luckily, he decided 2 call it off on Tues becoz he knew his conditions will fail him in e long distance travel. Upon receiving e news from mum, i was elated & relieved, coz it will be such a torture for her 2 take care of him in China, 24hrs a day alone. Its gd tat both of them need not suffer from home. However, her solemn voice carried a frail sob, i could tell something was amiss. She said grandpa wanted 2 see mi immediately.

I rushed down 2 his place, & msged all in e family wat mum told mi. Grandpa said he may pass on soon. I was afraid, afraid 2 face e reality tat will eventually haunt mi sooner or later. I reached & greeted him @ once, he looked frail but happy 2 see mi, then sis & yeting came. He was in his new clothes, & had asked mum 2 throw away e old set.The nite b4, he had thought of suicide. On e surface, everything seemed like hes prepared for 'tat' 2 happen. We were realie worried.

He was talking abt giving how much 2 who & who, & had asked 2 withdraw all his $ from e bank. One by one, uncles, aunties & cousins all came back after reading my msg. Apparently, his emotions improved after seeing all e faces he had yearned 2 see, i was glad 2. But 2 think tat i was remarked 2 "have made a false alarm" realie pained mi. Why are they looking only on e surface? He was realie on his verge had it not been for our presence.

Im realie very tired. 2moro is my shift again, dun noe for how long more i can hold on.