Paradigm Shift

Had been working @ Y hub for 2 weeks liao, but im still lost @ work.

Mark told mi e purpose of e Y hub on my 1st day, i understood it & saw tat disparity in e present state from wat was expected. Kids come into e centre everyday treating it like an arcade centre 2 play computer games, while e grp of malay kids thought its Orchard Rd closer 2 their homes. They basically had e wrong attitudes & my 1st idea was 2 change their wrong behaviour.

I tried 2 be patient, hoping 2 touch them with my sincerity. Mark warned mi 2 be harsher on them coz they will climb over my head if im 2 soft & nice. I will be 'eaten' by them eventually. I asked Mark 2 give mi a chance 2 use my own methods on them & he agreed. I spent many hrs everyday 2 think of solutions & ideas 2 revolutionalise e place, then when i thought wat i was doing was rite, Mark intervened.

Twice, he showed his displeasure in e way i treated e kids, he said i was 2 'nice' 2 them.I allowed a few into e office area 2 play with our computers, coz i thought instead of using a punishment system, y not adopt a rewarding system. Reward those who helped mi or doesnt cause probs 2 mi & e centre? Apparently, allowing e kids into e staff area, or wat Mark called it, e adult area is unacceptable. I didnt understand.

It was e 1st time i was being lectured 4 doing something which i thought was gd for e others.I wanted e kids not 2 only treat e place like a video arcade, but a place where they can seek help for their sch work, or even haf gd positive interactions with adults. Instead of chasing e naughty kids out of e centre, y not educate them.Juz like if a student committed an offence in sch, do u think e principal shd expel him or punish him & let him know his mistake by educating him? But Mark thought i was 2 idealistic. I was shocked when he said" Our role here is staff & client. There is no love here."

U want mi 2 be indifferent & be haughty, putting on airs in front of e kids so tat they noe tat we adults are not 2 be trifled with? I noe i cant do it. But dun noe if e day will come when i have 2 do it.

Aniwaes, i attracted a wrong gal. This grp of commonwealth gals came 2 e centre 1st time last week, but it was only last fri when i 1st talked 2 them. They were invited 2 perform for some Korean Students who i will be leading e whole day around on 20th, wed.They agreed & when i was asked 2 evaluate their items, i was asked 2 sing oso. They liked it & when 2 gals suggested i do a duet with another malay gal, i smell a rat. I was rite, tat gal apparently fell 4 mi,im sad 2 say, coz she did weird things e following visits @ e centre.She told another regular patron & when she popped e qns whether i noe someone likes mi, i guessed it rite.Shes only 14 btw.

Haiz, it getting harder & harder @ e centre 4 mi. Perhaps i shall take it as a test.