Lost Path

Ronnie spoke 2 mi for 3 hrs yesterdae, after i had knocked off.He knew i was troubled, badly.I spilled my heart out & confided in him e problems & dilemmas im experiencing.

This Y Hub experience didnt exactly allowed mi 2 gain experience & confidence 2 teach in e future, but demoralises mi.Im realie vexed @ how i had 2 treat e kids here, with indifference & much harshness, so that i can draw tat fine line between a staff here & juz being another-ordinary-uncle-not-worth-respecting 2 e kids. For their sake in e future, i was forced 2 treat them rather nastily. Cold blooded & indifferent i would describe myself.

I felt im doing many things against my own principles, which i used 2 hold on 2 firmly. Neva in my life i had 2 scream @ e top of my voice so much in a day, tat i lost my voice a few times. I felt guilty each time i lectured any kid, but i realie want them 2 behave & learn, & not wishing them 2 fall into e dark side of society, & become e scums of the future.But is scolding them realie enuff? I realie thought of giving up.

Ronnie shared with me a lot of experiences he had as a volunteer in YMCA.I realie saw e other side of him, admirable. He did show mi e light admist e dark clouds, encouraged mi 2 carry my dream of helping others.

Im realie afraid i may not maintain tat passion as long as i planned, but i will not give up tat easily w/o a fight though.

Give mi tat strength, so tat i can carry on.
Give mi tat money, so i can provide it free 2 e kids.
Give mi some volunteers, so i dun have 2 run around like a headless chicken.
Give mi tat knowledge, so tat i can impart them 2 e kids here.
Give mi some hope, so tat i can believe in miracles.