Strengthen me

Been a long while since I last wrote. Nothing particularly special happened that drew my attention to blog. How time flies, I didnt notice that it has been 1 & half yrs since I started blogging. I didnt have the habit to keep a diary, but I love to reminisce on past memories. I look upon memories as a mirror, helping me to reflect on my past wrongs & rights, bitterness & sweetness, failures & victories, enemies & friends.

Taking up this course is perhaps one of the best choices Ive made in my life. Of course there were many bad ones too, but they were good experiences. I had high hopes that I will not struggle as much in this course as I had expected. However,I didnt expect to study so broadly & deeply, from genes to Deoxyribonucleic Acid(DNA); foetus formation to the life stages of a human being. These theories were too far for me to fathom. Still I enjoy my study now, becoz I have a great bunch of classmates & a supportive sister & mom.

As the lessons went, I realised that so much is expected of a counsellor. I thought I was more or less equipped to perform as a good one, but little did I expect, I fall short of being one by so much. A counsellor is expected to empathise with a client, rely on good communication skills to relate to him/her, but yet not be dragged into an emotional turmoil caused by him/her. Such a challenge huh? Worst thing is that, I was told by my counsellor lecturers, that male counsellors are always the vulnerable ones, becoz a client can juz turn the table around and accuse us of molestation or outrage of modesty. Such unfairness is being placed upon males that many careers & reputation have since being tarnished, unjustly.

I do feel the stress & tough challenges laid ahead of me once I step into this would be career in future. But my greatest worry is still my ability to uphold certain principles & beliefs that I prize now, when faced with circumstances requiring me to sacrifice them. I believe very strongly that in order for me to help others in the future professionally, I have to 1st help myself to overcome certain problems which Im faced with in my life now. This isnt an easy task but there is no way back since I had made the decision. But Im glad that along the way in my life thus far, I had accummulated many invaluable experiences that will eventually help me in my cause to benefit others. These are good memories to tap on. Hopefully this blog will serve to help me in future too.

" Strengthen thyself in order to strengthen others."

"No one can help others without first helping oneself"

My Family's History -- Can be written into a book

Ive got 4 uncles & 2 aunties, but frankly speaking, its real hard communicating with them. Not about e generation gap, I can easily pick up a conversation with any 50 yr old auntie, or a 60 yr old uncle. The prob with them is that they alwaz put on a front:so unapproachable, so hostile. They seems to bear a grudge in whatever their children or nephews & nieces do. Nothing seems to please them or stop their criticisms. It makes us inevitably demoralised & irritated once they speak. It runs in the family i realised, something which has been bothering me for years.

On Monday, I played table tennis wif cousin Dawn & her parents. After e game, I went to their house for a bath & wanted them to teach me more on human genetics becoz tats one area which is essential in my course of study. Both her parents were doctors while Dawn is a medical student, things became so clear after their explanation. Then we went further, as Aunty Judy started telling more about our family members, & these were something unknown to mi for so many yrs.

After wat she related to mi about how grandpa treated all his children, I began to understand what made my uncles who they are today. Sometimes a person's action not only affect other people directly, but also indirectly. My cousin's family, including mine, were implicated actualie by what was done to our fathers by grandpa. It was realie dark times for them then, having to undergo such hardships & torments. I wonder if i were in their shoes, would I still even have the courage to live on today. However what Aunty Judy differed from them is that she chose to live out of that hardship & looked forward in life. That choice made her e great doctor she is 2day.

I found out many secrets from Aunty Judy, something about my father too. Tat was realie shocking to mi, I darent even tell mum abt it. It will be too much for her to bear. Dun guess, I dun think i will share, its too detrimental perhaps. However, I realie learnt a great deal from her tat day, to think tat she shedded her doctor's identity & spoke to mi as a typical aunt will to her nephew. I feel honoured to be like a nephew to her for e 1st time in my life, there was neva a conversation tis intimate before. My perception abt her changed, & so was her perception abt me.

I will continue to learn more abt life.

"Life is a journey to be enjoyed."