Sweet Begginings

For e past 2 nites, ive had little sleep. Not becoz i cant, but its becoz i was doing some "work". I call it "project recounciliation"

Well, Ken, this is e 1st time ur name appear in my blog, hopefully it will appear more, but not too frequent har.After tat long conversation wif u 2 nites ago,it shed some lights on some problems tat had been unsolved & avoided for many years. I learnt from tis incident, perhaps thanx to u, & tat gave mi tat strength & initiative to speak to Jeremy.

Jere, hope tat from e conversation or i shall say, heart-to-heart talk, certain doubts, unhappiness, uneasiness, & stress had been cleared by @ least a little. Well, i seldom speak to ppl so frankly, except to my younger sis. So Ken & Jere, count urself lucky. See who will bother to hear ur story @ 1am. So u 2 shd noe wat to do lah.

From these 2 incidents, ive come to realise some harsh reality, & oso some truths.

Fear: fear of rejection, fear of being snubbed @, fear of facing e music, fear of losing face & ego....
Sometimes its these emotional states of mind tat put us into trouble, real trouble. We run away, as far & fast, away from e truth, hoping tat it will fail to catch up, then 1 dae hope it will suddenly, "wosh", solve ur problem automatically. U can say its naiveness, ignorance, blufferlogy, but ask urself this qns:" How often are we true to ourselves, to e others? Neva thought of running away b4?"

Well i luv to run, but for now, its to run for e marathon.5th Dec.


Its only Words, & Words are all i Have
tTo take Your Heart Away

Ben Has Changed.....

Yes Ben has changed, no doubt.

We were supposed to meet for pool tis afternoon, so i was getting late, i msged him. He actualie replied:"Its ok.". I was surprised, 1st time in my life he didnt make a noise despite that i will be late, as usual.Hmmm,well gd.

So we went to West Coast Recreation Centre instead of Ginza coz tat ghost town had another few unfortunate shops closed down, & 1 of them was MegMaster.We were ready to play, & i was like"so how many games shall i win 2dae?". After 7 games & 1hr 15mins, the score was 6-1.

No, not 6-1 to mi.I was dropped down to Planet Earth from e Moon, terrible, dramatic & unbelievable. Just 6 mths ago, i should be able to win e game leaving him with 3 balls on the table i guess. Now, i will be lucky if i can ever get to the black ball. So, wats e secret? He played pool wif e Kiwis everydae, with smaller pockets & balls. No wonder he improved this much.

All rite, i shall aim to beat u b4 u set off for NZ then, wait for mi Ben.

Btw, watched e Incredibles with cousins & my younger sis just now, was an incredible show.So happy 2dae, once in a while nowadays.

Life goes on.

End of Camp: The Green Adventure Day 2

I did not sleep a wink, so when it was 7am, e rain stopped. I was grateful, e weather element was subdued, finally. Well, we set off for Sungei Buloh after breakfast, but were held up by 1 participant, coz e mother didnt believed that he had a 2nd day to e camp. We were 45 mins behind time, i was again stressed. My mind went wild & we had to plan for e activity again. Eventually, we decided to cut short e trekking route to save time, & though they waited 1 hr for lunch to be delivered, upon seeing e arrival of macdonald's, everyone were excited. Creative huh, & of course hard work.

Omnitheatre after tat, was disappointed by e fact that some of them told mi e show was boring & they slept thru it. However, they still recognised our efforts. If u had read my previous post, u shd noe how hard it was that i landed e tickets. Well, i dun blame them, i appreciated their feedbacks.The only bad thing was, we had to rush down to Clarke Quay immediately after e show coz we had booked e bumboat @ 4.30pm. E show ended 4.10pm.Wah, stressed again.

Luckily, we made it , though 15 mins late, there were enough boats for us. e beneficiaries enjoyed e ride, but i was so tensed up about e next activity which was e closing of e camp tat i didnt really cared abt e ride. Not very good huh. Back in TCIL, i thanked all e participants & committee, & brought e camp to an end. I didnt know abt my result slip, but no matter wat e results were, i will definitely improved myself to org a better camp in future.

Did i enjoy e camp?

I dun noe e answer, maybe u tel me after reading this blog.

End of Camp: The Green Adventure Day 1

A mixture of feelings:Relieved, Glad, Disappointed, Lucky, Satisfaction, Sense of Achievement.

The whole preparation was tedious, was thankful to my committee for being so understanding & cooperative in giving their ideas & time.Especially Angie, though she is a staff on a payroll, she sacrificed her time w/o complains or fuss, i really respect her for that. The volunteers oso, most of them are having exams this week, yet they still took precious time off to partake in this camp.It was incredible on their part.Sacrifices, how i wish there were more others who noe e meaning to this.

I was very nervy when e beneficiaries arrived, i didnt even prepare my opening speech.The worst thing was, when they arrived, i was still shopping for food in Great World City!OMG. Then it was ice breaker, but rain came, heaven was uncooperative, so we moved into e hall.In e end, we were told we will be charged for that. wat e hell. I was pissed of course.

Then its preparation time for grps on e campfire performance, i took e chance to set up for outfield cooking. It was still raining, i prayed hard that it will stop b4 campfire, coz it will really dampen my mood.I was stressed & pressed.But thankfully, Clare & Ben arrived, my saviours, they set up e bbq stove then helped mi oso in e campfire. They were great help to not only me, but all e participants benefited from their kind & selfless gestures.& oso e weather was playful, juz when i believed e rain had stopped for good, dark clouds came rolling by.

I was fustrated, then i said, " i give up 2 yrs of my life for u to stop raining." Sounded stupid, but i was really sincerely hoping e rain dun spoil e moods of all participants. 6.45pm.the sky cleared. I was so grateful, so hurried in e setup of e campfire. 7.30pm, campfire commences, & i was totally elated bcoz i knew we did a great job.

Tealights led e way along e long stretch of e drain, on e benches were lightsticks belonging to their group colour & e whole ambience was juz fantastic. Things finalie went on well coz i myself enjoyed e campfire. There was tis irony when i performed in representation of e committee. My Talentime Final was on e same day too, but i thought instead of singing in front of simply pathetic & shallow ppl in SIM, i might as well sing for e participants, coz i find it more meaningful & happy.

End of campfire, we sent e beneficiaries home. I asked a few of them if they enjoyed e day, they simply couldnt hide their joy. My sense of satisfaction was juz indescridible. I was encouraged, & i looked 4ward to e next day of fun. So we went on to BBQ, & i thought it might be a gd way to bring all e volunteers & committee closer. I guessed it did, coz they were so fascinated by my ghost stories. We chatted till morning, didnt sleep @ all, well @ least there were 6 of us. e other reason i didnt sleep oso was tat it was raining non stop since campfire ended. I was worried tat it will affect e next daez activity. I was ready to sacrifice my sleep in exchange for e rain to stop. Crazy again.

My Yesterdae: Busy but Fulfilling

Got home yesterdae after fetching Ben from Airport & was rather tired after a long gruelling dae, so only haf e strength & mood to blog 2dae abt yesterdae.

My dae started @ 8am. travelled to SAMH(Spore Asso for Mental Health) as usual for volunteer work & when i reached, somehow i felt elated & excited. Tats bcoz there were 8 volunteers & most were quite on gd terms with mi. So, comfortably as i felt, i joked abt almost anything, showing my another side of mi.As compared to my last 2 visits where there were only 1 & 3 volunteers, yesterdae's sheer number of volunteers was enough to encourage mi.

Then, took a cab with e YMCA staff to Jurong East for another YMCA project meeting. Well, e project was a gd idea, aiming to give children from low income families a memorable Xmas, so i wanted to contibute oso. Initially wanted to be a soccer performer(X5 muz be mockin mi), since i thought dun haf to be a Ronaldinho infront of pri sch kids 1 lah. But due to space constraint, i decided to set up a Spiral Tic-Tat-Toe station. How to play? Ask mi & i shall teach u. Hope its fun for e children.

After meeting, went down to NTU to play soccer.Well, wasnt realie happy @ soccer bcoz some incident happened & i was quite affected by it. Perhaps its bcoz i juz finished running 30 rounds on e track e dae b4, & caused mi to make blunders.Y run 30 rounds? Coz Chang asked mi to join Standard Chartered Marathon, but hes damn idiot, still haven started training.Dun be a burden to mi on tat dae hor.

Then again, after soccer, from Boon Lay MRT, we had to travel to Changi Airport, to pick Ben up from Australia.eh or isit NZ? Aniwaez, we miscalculated e timing so was late.Still Ben was happy to see us, & so were Chang & Clare. Jere & Lijin couldnt make it coz they dated each other @ Orchard(haha) while Jiawen told mi "Who is Ben?".
Ben changed quite a lot over these 5 mths, but no matter how much u haf changed, u r still our Xclusive 5. I say 1.

Just Too Bad

SIM Talentime Semifinal 2dae. Super duper lots of technical problems, so was forced to sing without music. Standard not as gd as JJ's. Guohui is still e Queen man.

It took 3 hrs for 16 contestants to sing, OMG, i almost fell asleep waiting. But e bladder of mine seems to be overworking 2dae, so kept going to e loo. Well, got e results, i was top 5.

But, just so so so bad. The finals, which is next Fridae, clashes with my camp. I cant possibly sneak out of camp to rush down to sing then go back camp rite. So i had to give my place to e 11th placed contestant. He/she muz be gleeing with joy.

Maybe its realie a pity, well @ least i have this prep to challenge for e NTU Open next mth, & its actualie my purpose of joining SIM Talentime. I knew long ago that e date of e finals is off for mi, but i still attempted, to find out where i stand.

Now i know, NTU Open here i come.

Wow, Wat A Twist!

Realie Wow.
3.30pm 2dae, was pissed & disappointed & vexed.
Called Omnitheatre to book tickets for my camp on the 20th, but they told mi tat it was all sold out, for the whole dae, & only tat dae! Wah, where got so suay 1? Who is so rich to buy all e tickets?

So i had to replan a new program for that timeslot,& it muz suit the campz theme, plus under alot of restrictions & stuffs. Wah, less than a week leh!!! then worse still, i dun haf enough volunteers for the camp!!! AHHHH.

But, somehow still quite pissed & stubborn, i called omnitheatre again to find out who was e one who bought all e tickets.then, i knew, so it was 'them',& immediately i called my friend who noe 'them'.10 mins later, i couldnt believe it,call it luck or fate, i can get e tickets liao.

So actualie "them' is Southwest CDC, they got e tickets for some community service thingy, & so i asked if they can let us haf 50 places & hah, juz send an official YMCA letter to them then bingo.Wats more e price is $3 per pax, so much lower than e actual price of $8. Wao, im so delirious. Wat a twist.

But, e volunteer number still bothers me, so while watching a movie 2nite wif my cousins, i asked them for help. in e end, my cousin Yeting was actualie so efficient & kind to haf gotten mi 3 ppl, juz e amt i require. ah, so thankful to her.

Now, i will follow up wif further progress & wait for the fun to be unleashed on 19th & 20th.